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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24547264">what happened after i watched all 3 descendants movies in a week</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ben76/pseuds/ben76'>ben76</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Descendants (Disney Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, College, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:55:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,486</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24547264</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ben76/pseuds/ben76</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this for exactly 2 people and I am posting it because I spent a lot of time on it, but it is bad. It is not good, read at your own risk. A choppy, weird written, look into what happens when Jay comes back from his gap year with Gil.<br/>Alternative title: Jay and Carlos are idiots and in love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jay/Carlos de Vil</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>what happened after i watched all 3 descendants movies in a week</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jay was strangely nervous as he stood outside of Carlos’s dorm, leaning on the locked door that wouldn’t budge for him because he didn’t live there. Not yet, at least. Come January he’d join Carlos at college and hopefully live in the same dorm. It’d be like the old days at Auradon Prep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>People were watching him as they strolled past, probably thinking he had gotten locked out somehow but he just smiled a friendly smile their way. He checked his phone for the fiftieth time to see a text from Carlos saying “sorry, class got out late, almost there”. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After sending a quick thumbs up emoji back, he looked up to see Carlos himself running towards him on the path leading from campus. All the nerves disappeared at the sight of him and he abandoned his bags and ran to meet up with him, scooping him up in a hug as he did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Carlos!” he exclaimed, “oh man, I’ve missed you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos, looking dazed, nodded, “yeah, me too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at you, college guy,” he said, patting him on the back as they made their way back to Carlos’s building. “You’ve gotta show me the ropes around here so I don’t look like a total nerd in January.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think that’s even possible,” he said, rolling his eyes as he scanned his ID to get into the building. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay followed Carlos into the building, watching in a kind of awe as he casually greeted the person at the desk before heading down the hallway. He pressed up on the elevator and turned to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You couldn’t look like a nerd if you tried,” Carlos explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay shrugged, “if I’m wandering around lost on day one, maybe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos shook his head with a smile, “I’d love to see that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Jay said, feigning offense, “you’re supposed to be my guide. That’s why I’m here, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re here because you have nothing better to do now that your world traveling is over,” he said, “but yeah, of course I’ll show you around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay smiled as the elevator opened and a group of other students spilled out, laughing and chatting in that college comfort that Jay now craved after his year long adventure with... The smile drifted from his face as he remembered, shaking the thought from his head before following Carlos into the elevator. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re silent for the ride up four floors, in an awkward way he hadn’t experienced with Carlos before. He chalked it up to his uncomfortable thoughts and brushed it off. That part of his life was over, it was time for things to go back to normal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which meant no uncomfortable silence with Carlos.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When’s everyone getting together?” Jay asked, his attempt at breaking the weird tension. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Carlos could answer, the elevator doors opened and, as if answering his question, there stood the rest of the gang. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Surprise!” they yelled in unison. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow,” Jay said, shocked, but happy, to see the whole gang there. They didn’t even all go here, but they must have made the trip to greet him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>God, he had missed them so much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rushed and gave Mal a hug, followed by the rest of them collapsing onto the two of them. They chattered happily as the group made their way to Carlos’s room, asking him how the trip here went and if he enjoyed being back in civilization again. He was incredibly grateful no one mentioned his travel partner. Listening to the group of them chattering felt like he had been transported to a year ago and they were wandering the halls of Auradon Prep, just talking and enjoying each other’s presence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even if it was at college in Carlos’s dorm hall and they all looked just a little different. The kind of difference that occurs during your first year at college when you make your college persona.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay wondered if he had changed the same way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos must have forgotten how to read a clock, or maybe the one hanging above his professor's head was off by a couple minutes. There was no way the professor was just going to keep talking five minutes past class time, with ten more slides left on his power point. Wasn’t this illegal? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos snuck a glance at his phone sticking out of his backpack, kicking it slightly to get the screen to light up and confirm his fears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay was probably waiting for him already, probably had been waiting for like forty minutes. His bus arrived thirty minutes ago, and Carlos had told him he’d only have to wait a little. He looked back up at the clock above his professor, still talking away. Finally, another student raised their hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” the professor asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We were out like ten minutes ago,” they said flatly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, dear, I’m so sorry,” he laughed, “I guess I got a little carried away there, the endocrine system can do that to you. Don’t forget your homework, due Monday. I’ll see you then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was still talking as Carlos rushed out the door, sending a text to Jay as he basically ran through the building. The second he got outside, he broke into a run. He hadn’t seen Jay in months, since his last visit over the summer. To be honest, the thought of him standing outside of his dorm now made him a little light headed and he slowed his pace for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jay had told him that he was enrolling here a couple weeks ago, Carlos had felt a whole range of emotions. Excitement, of course, because this was his best friend we’re talking about so of course he couldn’t wait to see him, and not just for a short visit on his way to much bigger and more exciting things, but every day. It was what he had wanted for the last year, but he was also nervous. Nervous that those stupid feelings that persisted in his stomach every single time he spoke to him wouldn’t stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those nerves disappeared as Jay’s figure came into view, leaning against the wall of his building. Once again, he broke into a sprint as he cleared the space between them. Jay met him halfway, gathering him into a rib breaking hug that felt like returning home after a long vacation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos didn’t really hear what Jay had said next, something about missing him, which he did too. Way more than he had realised, apparently, as he basically gilded as they made their way to his room together. The fog in his mind cleared as Jay continued to talk, and they fell back into their routine of playful conversation. He almost forgot about the surprise waiting for Jay when they got to his floor, but the look on his face was worth it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, they were all in his room and Jane was there, which felt more awkward than it should have. He was glad he was playing host, so there was no expectation to fall into the same rhythm the rest of the couples had. Mal and Ben were sitting in his too small desk chair, while Evie, Doug, and Jay took the bed. Jane was standing by him and listening to a story Jay was telling about some guy he met in the Andes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later, they had reservations at a sushi place they all loved, but for now they sat and caught up with each other as if they didn’t talk everyday even when Jay was gone. It’s easier face to face, or it was supposed to be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay glanced over at Carlos as Mal answered his question on how things were going with the kingdom and being queen and all that. He smiled when their eyes caught each other’s, much like they used to do all the time. Like they had some inside joke at all times, and they usually did but Carlos didn’t quite recognise this one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a bit of conversation, Jane pulled on C’s sleeve to get his attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should probably get going,” she said, “it’ll take a moment to get the whole crowd there, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos nodded, and Jane announced to the room that they should be leaving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leaving for where?” Jay asked Carlos as the rest of them stood up and started gathering their stuff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dinner,” Carlos said with a grin, “another surprise, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled, “well, then, surprise me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos pretended not to feel those stupid feelings taking root back in his stomach at Jay’s casual flirty tone. This was just how he acted, Carlos reminded himself. It meant nothing, and he didn’t want it to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time the rest of the gang had cleared out, heading to their respective sleeping arrangements for the night after a filling meal of sushi at the best dinner place in town apparently, Jay was feeling completely back to normal and also a little overwhelmed. It was crazy to think that this wasn’t just for today, or for the next few days, but that they’d get together at least once a week from here on out. He had only been gone for a year and some change, but he had gotten used to the unpredictable lifestyle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now it was just him and Carlos, in his room. Carlos was setting up an airbed for Jay to sleep on as he checked his social media and such. Almost subconsciously, he clicked on Gil’s story. A video of him standing in front of a waterfall and screaming filled his screen and the now familiar feeling of grief washed over him. He clicked away quickly as Carlos announced that he was done, presenting Jay with a very cozy looking air bed covered with blankets and pillows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure this looks like a five start hotel to you,” Carlos said, “after all that camping.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know...” Jay teased him, “have you ever woken up to a soggy sleeping bag? It’s heavenly.”</span>
</p><p><span>Carlos</span> <span> rolled his eyes, laughing, “well, I hope you can manage to get some sleep on this pile of rags.”</span></p><p>
  <span>“I’ll make it work,” he said, feeling the sorrow that G’s story had introduced drift away with their playful banter, “thanks, Carlos. Really, for letting me crash here for now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhm, yeah, of course,” Carlos said, soundly oddly nervous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even if it’s the worst night of sleep I ever have,” he joked, trying to lift the weird mood that had enveloped them again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos rolled his eyes once again, “I’m gonna go get ready for bed, bathroom’s down the hall if you need it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay nodded, watching Carlos grab his stuff and disappear down the hallway. Once Carlos was gone, he turned back to his phone, G’s story still there with a colorful ring surrounding his face indicating more to see. His finger hovered, but he stopped himself. Instead, he turned his phone off and tossed it onto the makeshift bed. He dug through his bag for some comfortable clothes to wear to sleep and changed before sitting on Carlos’s bed to wait for him to come back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He realised this was the first time he had been alone since meeting up with Carlos earlier, and he already missed the presence of another body. He wasn’t good at being alone since leaving Gil, or really ever. He couldn’t help but wonder if he felt the same way, and felt himself reach for his phone again. Fortunately, Carlos came back before Jay could cave and see what that colorful ring around Gil’s face held. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trying to steal my bed?” Carlos joked, pushing Jay playfully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, like I’d want to,” he said, getting up and kicking the airbed, “I’ve got this luxurious set up right here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever, good night,” Carlos said, playing offended, “can you get the light.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did, and settled into the airbed. It really wasn’t that bad, and in a different time of his life he would surely have fallen right asleep but instead he lay awake, staring at the ceiling and willing himself not to check his phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos woke up to the sound of his door shutting and Jay rustling a paper bag. He opened his eyes to see Jay setting down said paper bag while holding onto a tray of two drinks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hey, good morning,” he said, raising the tray in greeting, “I hope you still like frappes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos sat up, stretching with a yawn, “yeah, of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay smiled, handing Carlos the drink with a straw, “I also got some danishes, if you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t say no to that,” he said, taking a sip of his drink, “guess you didn’t need my help after all, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay shrugged, “I guess so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should I still bother with the tour?” Carlosasked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay laughed, “well, it’ll help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos shook his head, gesturing to the bag, “do I get a danish, or not?”</span>
</p><p><span>“Patience,” Jay said, taking a sip of his drink, purposely stalling to mess with Carlos.</span><span><br/>
</span> <span>Carlos sighed dramatically, reaching over to grab the bag himself, “I don’t have to give you any.”</span></p><p>
  <span>“I was going to get it,” Jay said, laughing, joining Carlos on the bed and reaching for the bag which Carlos snatched away. “Hey, I bought those.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you start being a little nicer, you can have one,” he said with a smart smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay rolled his eyes, giving him a look that made Carlos’s stomach flip. Carlos tossed the bag his way, sat up further away from him. Jay caught the bag and gave him a confused look, but didn’t say a word as he opened it and tossed Carlos a danish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what’s on the agenda today?” he asked as if nothing had happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And nothing had happened really, just that Jay had a way of looking like... that. Carlos had almost forgotten how good he was at it, which was his excuse for reacting the way he did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tour,” Carlos said, taking a bite of his danish so he couldn’t be expected to say more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, yeah,” Jay said, mouth partially full, “but where?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I figured we’d just walk around,” Carlos said with a shrug, “I’ll show you the STEM building first, that where most of my classes are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, where none of my classes will be,” Jay said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, maybe,” Carlos said with a chuckle, “then campus center, the library, other buildings we pass. I’m not a professional tour guide, Jay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I should have hired one,” he said with a mischievous glint in his eyes that Carlos was much more prepared for this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It really had been so long, and it was going to feel a lot longer with him here if Carlos didn’t get it together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I gotta get ready,” he announced, stuffing the rest of his danish in his mouth and getting up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t mean to rush you,” Jay said, “take your time, sleepyhead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos didn’t bother with a response, just shooting Jay a look as he left for the bathroom. He spent a good moment staring at himself in the mirror and mentally giving himself a pep talk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This whole Jay thing was nothing. Jay was basically his brother and Carlos was with Jane. He was just nervous because it had been so long, and he had missed him. He had missed him a lot, and he was here to stay so Carlos was going to get it together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to, for everyone’s sake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As much as he downplayed it earlier, Carlos had planned the whole day out for the two of them. It was roughly what he had told Jay, but not nearly as relaxed and spontaneous. Carlos spent the morning playing tour guide as he showed Jay all the places he hung out on campus, starting at the building as he had said and making pit stops at the smoothie place and campus store on the way to the library. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t too exciting, it was an average college campus, but Jay was a good sport about it. He even bought a keychain of the school’s logo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Might as well start acquiring merch early,” he said with a shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the library, they were taking a break. Carlos actually had to get a book, and afterwards they settled down in some comfy chairs in a far corner. They spent a moment drinking their smoothies and checking their phones.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mal and Evie were trying to schedule plans with just the VKs, so Carlos had a bunch of texts from them about potential plans along with texts from Jane just asking how things were going. Carlos was about to respond when Jay abruptly set his phone down, catching his attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everything okay over there?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah,” Jay said, looking at his phone and back at Carlos. “I’m fine, just tired of the internet, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos was unconvinced and now a little worried, but he said, “yeah, I feel you. Let’s get some lunch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay smiled, “sounds great.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll show you the best dining hall on campus,” Carlossaid, “it’s just around the corner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The best dining hall, huh?” Jay said, “I’m going to be expecting five star dining now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s still a dining hall,” Carlos said, laughing anyway as he got up from his seat with Jay following suit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t forget your phone,” he said, gesturing to J’s phone where it still sat on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It almost looked like Jay hesitated a moment before picking it up and putting it in his pocket. Something was up, but Carlos knew better than to pry just yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you think of campus so far?” Carlos asked as they made their way to the dining hall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s... Nice,” Jay said, “Can’t believe I’m going to be living here soon. I think I still might get lost.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos laughed, “don’t worry about it, you only really need to know where your classes are. You should have seen me last year... I think I spent an hour looking for the bookstore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where is that anyway?” Jay asked with a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos pretended to think hard, “uh... I’ll show you after lunch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay shook his head, amused, “what a tour guide, C.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos shrugged, “as I said, I’m not a professional. Anyway, you won’t be alone next year like I was. You’ve got me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah...” Jay said with a distant smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos shouldered him, “hey, what’s with the mood?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay snapped out of it, smiling at Carlos, “sorry. I guess I am still getting used to the idea. Thanks, though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay threw his arm around Carlos’s shoulder then, pulling him close, “I wouldn’t want any other tour guide.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was, of course, a completely normal interaction. Carlos and Jay had always had a touchy-feely relationship, if anything it would have been weird if Jay hadn’t done that. If Jay had come back and was suddenly a hands off friend. This didn’t stop that stupid feeling from rising once again in C’s stomach, and it didn’t stop him from turning a bright red at his own reaction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pushed Jay away, as playfully as he could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, alright, I’ll pay for your lunch,” he teased, tossing Jay an eye roll. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay laughed, shaking his head, “can’t compliment anyone anymore, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you too well, J,” Carlossaid, “You always want something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay said nothing, just smiled the same smile he had last night as he thanked Carlosfor letting him stay in his room. That was twice in 24 hours, something was definitely up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jay turns his phone off after the library incident. It felt like every time he unlocked his phone, something that reminded him of Gil popped up and threw him back into that mindset. It didn’t feel right to have his head all wrapped around Gil and stuff from the past during his tour of his new life, and it wasn’t really fair for Carlos anyway. Now that his phone was not a distraction, Jay could really soak in the college atmosphere. This wasn’t his first time in a college dining hall, he had been in another one the first time he visited Carlos here. That visit had been short, too short, and with Gil. So, they hadn’t had time to properly introduce Jay to the campus, or the best dining hall apparently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos wasn’t wrong, either. This dining hall was miles better than the other one, even though he was sure the food was the same at all of them. The atmosphere was what really mattered, it looked a lot newer and had big windows lining one side that looked out onto the stunning campus that Carlos had just dragged Jay around. The food was college food, good but not restaurant grade or anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What was really good was just spending time with Carlos. Jay just ate and listened to Carlos talk about his classes, his annoying teachers and classmates, and anything else he could think about. It was a welcome distraction for him, and he did like hearing Carlos talk and imagining himself going through the same stuff in a few short months. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After lunch, they were making their way back to Carlos’s dorm when ahead of them was Jane and a couple of her friends heading towards the two of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Carlos!” she called, rushing a little bit to meet them halfway. “You never replied, I thought you might be dead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos laughed awkwardly, “uh, no, not dead. I was just...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gestured to Jay with a shrug. Jane looked over to him and smiled, “of course...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay couldn’t help but notice a weird energy between the two of them as Jane looked back at Carlos. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I guess that answered my question anyway,” Jane said with a polite smile, “I see you guys just ate, so I will not invite you to eat with us but know that I would.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay laughed, but Carlos just kind of smiled and nodded before saying “of course, and we would say yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane smiled, leaning in to give Carlos a quick kiss on the cheek before saying, “I’ll see you tomorrow, though?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos nodded, “yeah, of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane smiled once more and waved goodbye to Jay as she and her friends passed them and headed towards the dining hall. Jay watched Carlos visibly relax and wanted to say something, but didn’t know what. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, Mal and Evie are getting together at M’s place later,” Carlos said before Jay could figure it out, “so, we’re free until then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay nodded, “okay, how about we go back to your room and I smoke you at some Mario Kart?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos rolled his eyes with a laugh, “we’ll see about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Jay could even fully form the thought, he was breaking into a sprint and called back to Carlos “last one there’s player 2.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” Carlos called, running after him, “that’s not fair!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Monday arrived and Carlos had to go to class. He seemed overly apologetic as he got ready in the morning, giving Jay a bunch of things he could do while he was gone but Jay had already made plans to spend the afternoon with M, which he kept telling Carlos but it didn’t seem to matter. Finally, Carlos was leaving and Jay joined him on the way down to the lobby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the door, Carlos handed Jay his ID card and said, “if you get back before me, you can use this to get in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if I get back after you?” Jay asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos shrugged, “I’ll wait outside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay sighed, shaking his head, “what a gracious host.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have to be,” Carlos said, reaching to take the ID back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s great,” Jay said, “thanks. I’ll see you later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide his smile as he said, “I’ll see you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay watched Carlos walk towards the campus while he waited for his ride to pick him up, Mal had ordered him an Uber since he himself was short on cash. Turns out being an explorer didn’t make you much money, who knew?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon enough, he was pulling into the driveway of Mal and Ben’s home. Or, as most people called it, their castle. Jay still felt a little uncomfortable as he approached the grand doors and went to knock, but he was interrupted as the door opened and there stood Mal. She waved him in and mouthed an apology as she was actively on the phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay followed her as she made agreeable noises to whomever she was talking to, and as they made their way through the extravagant corridors of her home the uncomfortableness Jay felt on the steps persisted. Finally, they stepped into Mal’s “office” of sorts, it was more just like her room for whatever she wanted but there was a desk. Once in the room, Jay could finally relax. The room screamed “Mal”, it didn’t feel too unlike something you’d find on the Isle which was a welcome change in Auradon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay took a seat and looked at his phone while he waited for Mal to be done with whatever she was doing. After a moment, she said goodbye and tossed her phone on the couch that Jay was sitting on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think if I have to talk on the phone ever again, I’ll burn my phone myself,” she said with a heavy sigh as she grabbed the tea off of her desk and joined Jay in the sitting area of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, how’s it going?” she asked. </span>
</p><p><span>This wasn’t the same “how’s it going” she had asked when they had first seen each other in Carlos’s room the other day, this was a loaded “how’s it going” and Jay contemplated his answer for a moment.</span><span><br/>
</span> <span>“Different,” he finally said with a shrug, “are you going to offer me a drink or just rudely sip your tea in front of me?”</span></p><p>
  <span>“Oh, darn,” she said, jumping up, “I can’t even do hostess right, what do you want? Soda?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever,” he said with a shrug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She reached into her mini fridge by her desk and pulled out a fancy looking coke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is all they give me,” she said with a shrug as she handed him the bottle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s good, thanks,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, different, huh?” she said, “I can imagine, sleeping on a real bed, I mean... Carlos does have you in a real bed, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If an air mattress counts,” Jay said with a shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wrinkled her nose, “god, have I turned into a snob?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay laughed, “it was only a matter of time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mal laughs before going back to business, “so, I don’t imagine you mean different because you’re sleeping arrangements.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, it feels different to be here permanently,” he said, “to know that I’m going to see you guys every day, and in the spring I’ll be a student with Carlos and the rest of them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, you don’t have to be,” she said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not all queens, Mal,” Jay said, “anyway, I want to. I just wish...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stopped himself, because he didn’t know what he wished. Or, he did and he didn’t think he wanted to open that can of worms yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mal looked intrigued, but didn’t implore further, instead she said, “how’s Carlos doing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah,” Jay said, remembering that weird encounter with Jane on Saturday, “I’ve been meaning to ask if something’s going on with him and Jane.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mal looked surprised to hear Jay ask that, “what do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Things seem weird between them,” Jay said, “He keeps brushing her off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>M looked confused for a moment before realisation dawned on her face, “oh...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Jay asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She waved her hand as if to wave away the thought, “It’s nothing. I just... I’m surprised, is all. They seemed fine to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mal knew something that she was not telling J, but because she didn’t push him on the whole “I wish” thing he wouldn’t press her on this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you,” he said, changing the subject, “things still running smoothly in Auradon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mal groaned, leaning her head back as if spontaneously dying, “too smooth, if you ask me. The stuff they have me dealing with is nearing juvenile. Why does the queen have to listen to parents complain about their dumb kids and how they’re failing, but it’s definitely not their fault. Feels like my job should be more important than that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with that, Jay successfully turned the conversation to Mal and sat back to listen as she went on about how boring it was to be the queen of Auradon. She wasn’t wrong, especially since her first month as queen was so exciting with the whole breaking down the barrier helping all the Isle residents fit in here thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay ended up spending a good amount of time there, just going back and forth with Mal. When he finally made it back to Carlos’s dorm, Carlos was sitting out front with Jane. She was talking and Carlos was listening with this small smile on his face that erased any doubts Jay had had about them from the awkward encounter. Carlos was clearly still smitten with her, maybe they had had a fight or something Saturday that Jay didn’t know about. That wouldn’t be too surprising since they did not really talk about that kind of stuff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Finally,” Carlos said in an exasperated tone as he stood up to greet J.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I warned you,” Jay said, handing Carlos the ID.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know you were going to spend your entire life at Mal’s,” Carlossaid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay laughed, “I lost track of time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos shook his head, pretending to be more annoyed than he really was. “Well, I’m starving now, you wanna go grab some dinner?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure,” Jay said, looking to Jane who was still standing by the door, “Jane’s coming?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos looked surprised, once again as if he had forgotten Jane was there, but caught himself with a nod.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If she wants, yeah.” he said, looking at Jane with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane smiled but shook her head, “I’m getting dinner with some friends, but another time. I’d love to catch up more with you, J.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay nodded, “yeah, same. See you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded a goodbye and gave Carlos a quick kiss on the cheek before heading back towards campus. Carlos watched her for a second with this odd look on his face before turning back to Jay and saying, “let me just drop off my bag in my room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay nodded, wanting really badly to ask Carlos about Jane but keeping it to himself. Whatever was going on, he would surely find out eventually.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had only been a couple days, not even a week, and Carlos was starting to see that his plan was going to fail dramatically. There was no way he was going to keep up the ruse that everything was fine, and that that stupid feeling in his stomach was going to go away ever. Being around Jay was just a constant reminder that he was lying to everyone, including himself. It wouldn’t be long now until Jay noticed that and started to ask questions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like, why has Carlos seen Jane only like two times since Jay has been there and why does he keep brushing Jane off everytime they do see each other and why does he get all weird whenever Jay looks at him like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And how would Carlos answer that? He couldn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos knew all this, but still did not know what he was supposed to do with this information. He had to break up with Jane, that was one thing. He could brush it off without any suspicion, say he just was not feeling it anymore. He did not need to tell anybody why, not yet at least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew nobody would really care about him being gay, exactly, he had just been carrying on this character for so long the idea of leaving it behind was scary. What was even scarier was how Jay would react, and how Carlos wanted him to react. It felt too obvious to come out now, after Jay had just broken up with Gil and was sleeping on his bedroom floor. Carlos was pretty sure if he came out now, Jay would be able to connect the dots pretty quickly and then what?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos did not want to think about that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anyway, first he had to break things off with Jane. It was really starting to kill him, especially because she did not deserve to be in such an empty relationship. She really was the sweetest person Carlos knew, which only made it that much harder for Carlos to look her in the eye and say... whatever it is that people say when breaking up with someone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a lot of googling and a lot of chickening out, Carlos told himself that he was going to break it to Jane a little over a week after Jay arrived after a particularly awkward interaction during dinner the day before. Jane had invited them to eat with her, and Carlos struggled to come up with an excuse not to so he sat beside Jane and struggled to remember how he was supposed to act around her. It wasn't like they were ever especially touchy or romantic, but it felt weird not to be when Jay was around because otherwise there really was no difference to how Carlos treated the two of them and that felt wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The morning after, Jane sent him a text that just said “we need to talk” so either Carlos was going to have to break up with her or she would break up with him. He really hoped it was the latter, but he prepared anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After his last class, they found a secluded place by the pond and Carlos waited anxiously for Jane to talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” she asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every article Carlos read earlier flew from his mind as Jane laid it out in front of him, her eyes worried and confused. He felt like an ant as she watched him patiently, as if he was worthless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had messed up and he did not know what to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, Carlos,” she continued, “whatever it is, I am here for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Carlos said, confused with the direction she was taking, “I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked more confused than worried now, “Oh? You’ve been acting weird lately, and last night was... different.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s just...” he faltered, here was his chance and yet the words would not come out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” she asked patiently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>God, she really was the sweetest. Carlos had been treating her like dirt lately, and here she was acting concerned for his well being. Could he be any more of a dirtbag?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he said, running his hand through his hair and taking a deep breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now or never.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just that,” he started, “I think we should break up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her face fell, clearly surprised despite how things had been going, “I’m sorry? Did I do something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, no,” Carlos rushed to console her, “That’s not it, it’s definitely me. Like... one hundred percent me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked really confused, and distraught now, and Carlos felt himself keep talking despite his brain yelling at him to stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just not into you anymore,” that was bad, “I mean, you’re perfect... I’m just... you’re not my type?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jane was just staring at him now, with her mouth agape, “Carlos. Stop. Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which he did, finally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to say anything else,” she said with a sad smile, “I understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded, “We can still be friends, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos felt relief wash over him as he smiled and said, “yeah, of course. I’d love that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled again, this time more convincingly, “and if you ever need to talk, I’m here. Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, thanks,” he said, “you really are the best, Jane. Thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled, reaching out and patting Carlos’s shoulder, “you’re not too bad yourself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed, pleasantly surprised with the direction that this interaction had gone. Maybe he had done something right, although it was more possible that Jane was just an amazingly supportive friend even when you’re breaking up with her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I broke up with Jane,” Carlos told Jay later that evening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You what?” Jay said, surprised by his own reaction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I broke up with Jane,” Carlos repeated with a nervous tone, as if he was worried he had done something wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Jay said, setting aside his phone and contemplating this new information. Apparently, he had not been making up the awkward air between the two of them lately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” he asked after a moment, realising that Carlos was still standing there watching him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah,” he said, “I actually am. She was incredibly understanding about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you just, don’t like her anymore?” Jay asked, unsure what else to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos shrugged, looking away from Jay as he said, “yeah, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay started to say something else, but Carlos cut him off, “ready for dinner?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay nodded, taking the hint, “sounds good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They didn’t talk about it again as they went to dinner and came back to play some video games before Carlos worked on some homework. That didn’t mean that Jay wasn’t thinking about it, though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos breaking up with Jane didn’t really make sense in the universe Jay had thought he lived in. Everyone kind of figured the two of them would get married, create a perfect little family, and peacefully grow old together all while maintaining that glow that love gave you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If that wasn’t where things were going, where were they going? It just kind of jarred Jay to think about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay couldn’t help but think about just over a week ago, when he was in a similar boat after leaving Gil. Back then, he was only doing what he had thought was the next step and now he couldn’t help but wonder if he had been wrong. If Carlos could suddenly change his plans, couldn’t Jay?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was dangerous thinking, but as he lay down to sleep as Carlos quietly typed on his laptop it was all he could think about. After a fruitless fifteen minutes of trying to sleep, Jay turned on his phone and went to Gil’s profile. The last picture was him eating some cool looking fruit in what looked like a hut, the caption read “one step closer to eating every fruit on the planet”. God, it was cute but it didn’t trigger the same emotion it had the last time Jay caved and looked at his profile. He missed him, sure, but it didn’t hurt as much anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he had made the right choice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned off his phone again, and yet again tried to sleep as he listened to Carlos close his laptop and get into bed himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight,” Jay said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re still awake?” Carlos asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unfortunately,” Jay said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay heard Carlos laugh sleepily, “goodnight, Jay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the sound of Carlos’s sleepy voice wishing him a good night, Jay felt oddly warm and a memory of the two of them back in their dorm at Auradon prep came into his mind. How they used to stay up late just talking about anything, and sometimes they’d fall asleep in each other’s bed and Jay would wake up to Carlos’s arms around him. Jay remembered getting a similar feeling then, and thinking about it now made his heart beat a little louder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he had made the right choice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
  <span></span><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Back at Auradon prep, a much younger Jay feels oddly disappointed when Carlos’s question turns into asking for advice about asking Jane out. It’s not like he expected Carlosto to ask him out, right there in front of their friends but... well, he kind of wished he had. Despite his “playboy” image, Jay had kind of thought that things with him and Carlos had been going in a different direction. When it was just the two of them, it felt like Carlos could see right through Jay’s persona and that they shared this mutual feeling of “more than friendship”. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turns out, Jay was wrong and he might have fabricated the whole thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A couple days after the Cotillion, Jay and Carlos were sitting in their room and pretending to study when Jay asked him if he was “serious about Jane”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I like her, if that’s what you’re asking,” he had replied, “and I think it’s safe to say she likes me back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay nodded, feeling a pit in his stomach, “cool. I’m happy for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos looked at him curiously, “thanks, man. Don’t worry, one day you’ll find someone too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay forced a laugh, “of course I will, I’m just shocked you beat me to the punch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay knew by then that he didn’t like girls, but it wasn’t until Carlos started dating Jane that he really knew how much he liked Carlos. Before then it was just this background thing that didn’t mean much to him, but afterwards it was this constant feeling in everything they did together and it sucked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then Jay met Gil, and it was like someone was offering him a way out of the lonely life he had planned for himself after “losing” Carlos. So, of course, took it and ran with it. Not to say he didn’t really like Gil, he did and being with him had been great but initially it was just great to know that there were other paths for him. That it wasn’t like Carlos was the only person on the planet for Jay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now, as he sat across from Carlos in this diner that the other VKs said he had to try, he wondered if maybe it was more like a detour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other VKs were with them, but after his realisation last night, Jay barely noticed them. He was watching Carlos and thinking about him breaking up with Jane. He could not shake the feeling that this meant something, that Carlos breaking things off with Jane shortly after Jay had arrived meant something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mal poked him in the side, bringing his attention back to the rest of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You still here, space cadet?” she asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sorry, what’s up?” he asked, avoiding the curious look from Carlos.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We were thinking of going to the park after this,” Mal continued, “you in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds fun,” Jay said, “let’s stop at Carlos’s so I can grab my tourney stuff, we can play a little bit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, right,” Evie said with a laugh, “you mean you, Carlos, and Ben can play while me and Mal watch.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay shrugged and offered in a teasing tone, “you guys can join.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay knew they didn’t really want to join, but played along as they playfully made excuses not to play. They paid their tab and split up, Mal, Evie, and Ben went back to the castle to get some blankets to sit on and snacks while Jay and Carlos went back to his dorm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been acting weird,” Carlos said shortly after they left the rest of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Jay said, “had a rough night of sleep, just a little tired.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos gave him an odd look, “okay. It has nothing to do with...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He trailed off as if Jay could read his mind and knew where that sentence was going. When it became apparent that Jay was clueless, Carlos sighed and continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you mad at me for breaking up with Jane?” Carlos asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? No.” Jay said, surprised, “why would I be mad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos shrugged, “I don’t know, that’s what I want to know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay shook his head, “I was surprised, sure, but not mad. It’s your life, Carlos. As long as you’re happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos watched him curiously for a moment before saying, “okay, thanks. You should try podcasts, sometimes I listen to them when I can’t sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay nodded, “I’ll try that, thanks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They met up with the rest of them at the park and played some tourney for a bit then gathered back together on the blanket. Evie offered them some water, which Jay gratefully accepted, taking a big gulp before saying “god, I’ve missed you guys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I’ll give you water more often,” Evie teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay laughed, shaking his head and just enjoying the moment for a minute. This is why he came back, it wasn’t necessarily to get a college education although that was important too. Mostly, he just missed this. Him and the VKs, plus Ben, just hanging out with zero expectations. Once again, he was brought back to the moment with a poke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time it was Carlos who said, “don’t fall asleep on us, Jay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” he said, “I could use a nap.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let out a fake yawn and laid his head on Carlos’s shoulder, pretending to go to sleep. It was what he would have done back in high school, and it felt right then too but he could feel Carlos tense up at the action. The rest of them were laughing, but they sounded far away as Jay focused on Carlos. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After what felt like a thousand years, Carlos pushed Jay away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess we should get going, huh?’ he said, jumping up a little too quick. He was visibly red and Jay felt very confused. Did something just happen?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Mal said, looking at Evie and Ben with a knowing look before standing up herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any plans for tomorrow?” Evie asked as they gathered up their stuff, ignoring the awkwardness that had taken over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone just sort of shrugged, not that Jay would notice because he was busy staring at Carlos and trying to figure out what had just happened. That could not have been all in his head, could it? It seemed like Mal knew something, with how she corralled everyone up. Jay also remembered her reaction to his question about Carlos when they talked last Monday and it was all starting to make sense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mal knew something, and maybe Evie and Ben did too, but either way, Jay did not. And he was starting to feel like he should.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carlos was one hundred percent sure that Jay knew about his feelings for him, why else was he suddenly acting weird after he broke up with Jane? He had made it so painfully obvious, and now he didn’t know how to take it back or if he even wanted to. It would certainly be in poor taste if he confessed so soon after Jay’s break up, and his own, right? So, somehow, he had to keep it under control even if Jay is out here being all cute and touchy feely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was normal for them, Carlos just had to remember how to not react. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And until then, it turns out he was just going to avoid these interactions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things settled into an uncomfortable, at least to Carlos, routine. Carlos kept himself busy with classes, spending a lot of time studying in the library. He told Jay that he had a big project, but in reality he was just spending his time staring at his textbooks and trying to think of a way out of this situation he had put himself in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he shouldn’t have broken up with Jane, it seems like things were worse now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Speaking of Jane, later that week she found him in the library and asked to join him. He hadn’t really spoken to her outside a nod or greeting in the hallways, she was yet another person he was avoiding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s it going?” she asked, not even bothering to pretend to be studying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s Jay doing?” she asked, “is he enjoying his free time on campus?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos shrugged, “yeah, I guess. I think he’s more bored than anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” she said, “you guys... have you guys been doing much? Anything exciting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos couldn’t help but notice the weird way she asked that, as if hinting at something that he should understand but he didn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not really,” he said, “I have to... I have this big project, I should probably be working on that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded, looking concerned as she said, “okay, if you need anything, let me know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She left and now Carlos had more to think about as he stared at his textbook. What was that all about, it’s not like she could know, right? But, if Jay knew, maybe Carlos was not being as inconspicuous as he had thought he was. Maybe everyone knew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos couldn’t think about that for too long, it hurt his head to think about the implications of everyone already knowing his biggest secret. If they knew, and no one was making a big deal out of it, maybe it wasn’t a big deal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that just did not make any sense in his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was getting late, and he had to eat dinner eventually so he texted Jay to let him know he was heading back to grab some dinner before packing up. On the way back, he hyped himself up as he usually did these days to give himself the power to act normal around Jay now that everyone basically knew everything without him saying anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay was all ready to go when he got there, just sitting on Carlos’s bed while looking at his phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Carlos said, “hungry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you’ve been gone all day,” Jay said, “I was about to leave without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos couldn’t tell whether he was seriously mad so he just said, “sorry, I’m almost done.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay nodded, looking unconvinced as he got up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Okay, so he was actually mad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about we go out,” Carlosoffered, “to a real restaurant, or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you paying,” Jay asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” Carlos said, “consider it my apology.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay smiled, “okay. I’m gonna make you apologise more often.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was joking again and Carlos felt a rush of relief wash over him, although this was not sustainable. He couldn’t keep buying Jay meals after avoiding him all day, eventually it would not work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked to a close by diner and Jay asked him about this project. Fortunately, Carlos did have a project due soon so he just talked about that but made it seem a lot bigger than it really was. He made a worksheet sound like a 20 page essay, and by the time they got their food, Jay was convinced.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Carlos felt like trash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t say I’m looking forward to that,” Jay said, wrinkling his nose, “all the papers, I barely like writing texts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos laughed, “you get used to it, I guess. Eventually, you’ll wonder what life was like before you had homework 24/7.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay sighed, looking out the window for a moment before saying, “I’m gonna miss this, I guess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, Jay,” Carlossaid, “It’s college, it’s fun. You don’t have to act like you’re selling your soul for four years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay shrugged, “you’re right. I’m being dramatic, but you weren’t the one who just spent a year of his life sleeping in tents by waterfalls. This is just... really different, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos nodded, “do you regret leaving?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay looked surprised, “no. This is what was the plan all along, you can’t run away from the real world forever.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess not,” Carlos said, the sentiment hitting him as that is what he has been trying to do with the 24 horus library sessions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay smiled and said, “this is depressing, let’s talk about anything else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agreed,” Carlossaid, happy to change the topic, “how’s the food?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The spent the rest of the meal talking about nothing of importance and once again, Carlos slipped into the familiar routine of being with Jay but in the back of his mind he couldn’t escape what Jay had said earlier. He couldn’t keep running away, but he didn’t know how to stop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s really not my place,” Mal said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay was over at Mal’s again, and this time he had some questions. Despite things feeling more normal the night before with Carlos at the diner, he couldn’t shake the awkwardness between them since the day at the park. He had probably seen Carlos for a total of five hours since then, and that includes the three or so hours they spent together last night. Since Mal had made it pretty clear she knew something, he had to ask her what was up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you have a problem with Carlos, you should talk to him,” Mal said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve tried,” he said, “he just keeps brushing it off, or just not being there frankly. Did I do something? Is he mad that I took the year off?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mal shook her head, “no. At least, I don’t think so. As I said, it’s not my place to discuss. Anyway, I don’t know anything. I just... have some hunches.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hunches?” Jay asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mal nodded with a shrug, “hunches. That’s all I’ll say on this topic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay sighed, annoyed, “so, you have a hunch about why Carlos is acting weird and you don’t think I should know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s my hunch,” Mal said, “you can probably reach the same conclusion yourself, but I’m not going to lead you there. As I said, it’s not my place and that’s that. Can we talk about something else? How are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not great, with the whole my best friend avoiding me thing,” Jay said, “we don’t talk about this kind of stuff, Mal. I can’t just ask him ‘hey, why are you spending fifteen hours in the library everyday?’”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, you can,” Mal said as if that was obvious and Jay was being an idiot to not know that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He keeps saying he has a project,” Jay said, “which I should believe because I don’t have any reason not to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Except that he’s never worked that hard on anything in his life,” Mal said, “just talk to him so you can stop bothering me about it, please. For me? Hey, I’m curious too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know...” Jay trailed off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To be honest, there was no reason Jay couldn’t be straight forward and ask Carlos what was up except his fear over the answer. What if Carlos was mad at him, or if somehow Carlos could sense the change in feelings that Jay had experienced over the weekend and now didn’t want to be his friend anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know if he could live with that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he gets back later, Carlos is, not surprisingly, not in his room. Jay shoots him a text asking him where he is and sets up where he has been for the past week, lounging on Carlos’s bed while watching endless TV. Carlos texts him back saying that he is, predictably, at the library.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay texts him back asking when he’ll be back, and whether he should wait to get dinner. Carlos does not reply for a bit, and Jay almost forgets he even texted by the time he gets a reply saying “almost done, wait up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay doesn’t really believe him, but he grabs some chips and settles in to wait for Carlos. Soon enough, it’s about an hour later and there’s nothing back from Carlos, so Jay sends him another text which he replies with “sorry, on my way”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time Carlos gets there, they’ll have to run to make it to dinner before they close and Jay is admittedly a little mad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry, I lost track of time,” Carlos explained, “It’s not like they close the doors exactly at seven.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even care about dinner,” Jay said, “I care about why you’ve been spending every waking minute in the library.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, uhm, I...” Carlos stuttered, clearly surprised and upset over J’s sudden attack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay, feeling bad, apologised, “I’m sorry, I’m just hangry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, no,” Carlossaid, “you’re right, I’ve been... avoiding you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? Jay asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, uh, thought you...” Carlos trailed off, looking helpless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me?” Jay asked, “You thought I what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you’ve been kind of weird since I broke up with Jane,” Carlos continued, further confusing Jay, “So I thought, you... I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, that I was mad at you?” Jay asked, “I already told you I wasn't. I think you’re mad at me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would I be mad at you?” Carlos asked, looking genuinely perplexed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Jay said, although he did. He just didn’t want to say it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them were silent for a moment, just sort of staring at each other with confusion and a little bit of fear. There was something hanging in the air between them, now that they both had tip toed around what they really wanted to say. The only thing left to say was the one thing both of them thought the other did not want to hear, that they both thought would ruin their friendship despite it being the same exact thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think you were mad at me,” Carlos said, breaking the silence, “I thought that you thought that since I broke up with Jane shortly after you and Gil broke up, that meant that...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He trailed off, letting Jay fill in the blanks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it?” Jay asked after a moment of letting what C was saying sink in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos shrugged, “not exactly...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Jay asked, feeling the pit in his stomach grow. Was Carlos saying what he thought he was saying, that he had been avoiding Jay because he thought Jay was being weird over him potentially liking him? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And did he? Like him, that is?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I broke up with Jane because I’m gay,” Carlos said frankly, “not because I thought that you breaking up with Gil meant that I suddenly had a chance with you. We’re friends, I get it, it’s okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Jay said, “let me get this straight. You think that I was being weird because I thought you liked me? And that I was the reason you broke up with Jane? How would I even reach that conclusion?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I was pretty sure everyone had...” Carlos said, “I mean, Mal thinks something is up at least so I figured I was being obvious. Or, I mean...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stuttered, trying to back up his last sentence but Jay interrupted him, “obvious? So. You do like me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos’s face was bright red as he shrugged, looking anywhere but at Jay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Carlos!” Jay laughed, “I thought you were avoiding me because you could tell that I liked you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now Carlos was looking straight at Jay, eyes wide and mouth open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You started avoiding me right after I realised it myself,” Jay explained, “so I figured you were trying to send me a message or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos shook his head, “wait. You like </span>
  <em>
    <span>me?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay laughed, stepping towards C, “of course I do. I thought it was obvious.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos looked almost suspicious as Jay reached for his hand and said, “I’ve literally liked you since high school when you blind sided me by asking Jane to the cotillion.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“‘Blind sided,’ what?” Carlos asked, looking down at J’s hand that was now holding his, “I didn’t know... That long ago?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay shrugged, “yeah. Kind of just thought you were straight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you had no reason not too,” Carlos said, looking back up at Jay, “I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be,” Jay said, “I’m sure you had your reasons,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just scared, you know,” Carlos said with a shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, as I said, you don’t have to explain anything,” Jay said, “I’m just happy this whole misunderstanding is over.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carlos laughed, “yeah, we just spent the last week fretting over the same exact thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess this is why they say communication is important,” Jay said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “We’re not getting dinner,” Carlos pointed out, almost as if looking for something to fill the air between them, in the space that was getting increasingly smaller.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay shook his head and said, “guess not,” before closing the space between them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now that was what a kiss was supposed to feel like, like the stars had aligned and everything was right in the world except x1000. Carlos couldn’t really remember the previous thirty minutes or however long that moment had lasted before Jay kissed him, but after? Now it was like he couldn’t really remember his entire life. The only thing that existed to him now was him and Jay standing in his college dorm room right then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, human beings needed to breathe so they had to pull away eventually. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not really hungry anyway,” Carlos said, breathless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay laughed, pushing Carlos away playfully, “well, I am. Let’s go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was surreal, walking downtown with his hand in Jay’s. It was like something out of his fifteen year old fantasies, but it was real and every so often he had to resist the urge to pinch himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the back of his mind, thoughts of tomorrow and the future kept creeping in. Obviously the rest of the VKs would be happy for them but it would be weird. It would change their dynamic, things would be different. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he wasn’t thinking about that right now, right now he was thinking about how somehow everything worked out despite how hard he tried to make it not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Epilogue</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s about time,” Mal said, her face lit up, “now I can stop pretending not to know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone was at Mal and Ben’s place for lunch the next day and the visit had started with Jay and Carlos revealing what had happened between the two of them the night before. Every was predictably happy, and not surprised one bit. Turns out Carlos was right, everyone </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> figured it out without him saying a word but they also somehow figured out the Jay part that had eluded him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said it was just a hunch,” Jay said, the two of them were setting the table for lunch while everyone was chatting in the living room, probably saying the same sentiments to Carlos. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, a hunch I had to pretend to not have,” Mal said, “It would have been pretty wicked of me to spread rumours about you guys, especially since Carlos wasn’t even out of the closet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, thanks for that, I guess,” Jay said, “but you would have saved me a lot of grief if you would have at least pushed me in the right direction.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As I said, not my place, Jay,” Mal said before calling everyone else into the dining room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Being with Carlos around the rest of the V.Ks was weird, of course, especially the way they watched them closely for something even a little romantic and then they would share a smile or whatever. It was weird, but it was good and eventually the charm would wear off and it would be normal and everyone will be happy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The End</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if you truly read this whole thing, i thank you with my whole heart.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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